Farewell, Fair Cruelty

The title of this post was lifted from Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night,” which I know because I used to read books pre-EWMBA (actually, I know that mostly because I have an Internet connection). As I searched for an apt quote to sum up my bittersweet thoughts about completing this fantastic educational voyage, I was struck happily dumb by the thought that I can actually read books again.

I also plan to play a lot of golf, and my colleagues at Yahoo! have helped me along in that endeavor by bestowing upon me a lovely new putter in honor of my academic achievement. If you’re a golfer applying to the EWMBA program, prepare to get much, much worse at the game. My errant drives nearly killed a young boy a few weeks back during my not-so-triumphant return to the driving range.

I will miss this place. It seems like yesterday I was awkwardly race-walking across the campus in my suit, deadly ill with the flu and dodging machete raindrops on my way to my Haas interview. I fondly remember orientation at the Berkeley Marina, eagerly planting the seeds of new friendships in the crisp fall breezes of 2005, when I weighed 200 pounds (soaking wet). After dozens of enlightening class sessions, hundreds of cups of coffee at Strada, several end-of-semester benders, and numerous warm interactions with newly minted lifelong pals, I arrived at our end-of-year party last Saturday at Frisson in San Francisco with a heavy heart, knowing I would be bidding adieu to many of these folks. I weighed 240 pounds (naked), mostly because of the heavy heart. Oh, and the cheeseburgers.

Thanks for your attention, dear readers, and best of luck in all future endeavors. I will think of you often this summer as I write the Great American Novel, deal with Carl Icahn’s overtures, and work on my George Hamilton tan.

If my only other gift is a cheap t-shirt averring “I graduated from the Haas EWMBA program and all I got was this lousy putter”, I’d be happy. After all, it’s a sweet putter.

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